| Good news and bad news... |
[Sep. 27th, 2008|07:22 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the like | ] |
First, the good news, since it happened first...
Brian proposed! And I said yes! So we are officially engaged, with a ring and everything! It's the most beautiful ring ever, and Brian picked it out all on his own. I look at it a lot, or I did the day and a half I wore it before I took it to be resized. I got it back yesterday ::sigh::. It's just perfect.
The bad news... I decided yesterday that if I want to try bangs, I better do it now in case I don't like them, so I can grow them out before the wedding. Well, I decided to get a Katie Holmes/Selma Blair inspired bob with bangs. IT LOOKS TERRIBLE! I look OLD! Thank god I can still pull it back into a pony tail. I need to find the pictures from my cute short hair cut and see if I can get this fixed.
Back to wedding stuff. We've set the date to April 2, 2010. So far away you say? Well, I can't have braces in my wedding photos, and they are supposed to come off December 2009. It will probably be a small wedding. I don't know what the heck I am doing. For the past three months I've been daydream-planning, and now that I can REALLY plan it I don't really want to.
Hope you're all doing well. |
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| Is anyone here? |
[Aug. 7th, 2007|06:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
Hello hello-
So it's difficult logging onto this site since I no longer have internet-- the company next door has blocked me from their wireless connection... No more pilfering internet.
In short, I work two jobs, am tired of the food I'm eating, tired of my clothes, and tired of my hair.
Steps Taken:
Step one: dyed my hair red today
Step two: Searched for new food recipes
Steps to come:
yoga and running
slowing update wardrobe
get a hair cut
I have no idea how to cut my hair. I want something short, with long side swooping bangs. And clothes... well, now that the dress code is getting more strict at Starbucks I need to buy new shoes and shirts and another pair of pants, so that means money I can't spend on clothes I actually want. I wish I had luck at thrift shops.
So any suggestions on hair styles are welcome. Or where to look for a job. Or meal ideas.
I think of you all often. Hope everyone is doing well. I'll try to log on more often. |
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| I have a job |
[Apr. 3rd, 2007|06:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
So, Starbucks called me yesterday and offered me a job! Yay! And I have an interview at Atlanta Botanical Garden tomorrow, YAY! I completed my first day of training at Starbucks today, and it went really well. I learned how to make iced Frappacino Coffees, TAZO shaken iced teas, and iced coffees. I get a little confused-- it's a lot to remember.
I don't feel like I've sold out to "the man." People are so negative about working for large companies, which I think is silly. Where else can I recieve health benefits by working part-time? And what's so wrong with a company wanting to do well? I found out that some Starbucks locations have open-mic night, just like the smaller coffee shops, and also show people's artwork. My manager has already inquired about my work and told me it's an option.
The people I will be working with are awesome, even the girl that I thought was a bitch that was working the counter during my second interview. And I genuinely feel like the employees are treated fairly and right. I'm excited! I was worried that I wouldn't be working with my co-workers, since I was hired for a new store and am training at a different store location, but I met about four of my fellow co-workers today. My manager is awesome. One of the shift managers is too. I don't think this is going to be so bad.
Supposedly Chris Robinson came in today while I was in training. Hmmm. |
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| Graduation and Chocolate Jesuses |
[Apr. 2nd, 2007|10:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
I've been trying to find a job for the past couple weeks. It's been discouraging. Starbucks doesn't even want me. I've had two interviews with a new store opening next week-- I thought the interviews went well, but I have yet to hear from them. However, on a slightly happier note, Atlanta Botanical Garden contacted me for an interview. Not for the job I really want (which the deadline passed yesterday, cross your fingers people), but I wouldn't mind working in Admissions or in the Gift Shop, for a little while at least. I never imagined it would be this difficult. My dad has suggested I move back to the Orlando area. I think it's entirely too early to give up. And there is more to my life just just a job, and the other areas of my life are ones that I don't want to change or give up.
A decent weekend. I think they like me, for the most part. I would hope so after almost 3 years. But does their opinion really matter in love?
Three years ago, to the day, Brian and I met and technically had our first date. I would have been driving to Atlanta right now. I'm thankful for that day. We went to the Atlanta Botanical Garden that day; is it a good job omen? Who needs superstition anyway?
And what's so wrong with having a chocolate Jesus? Does it make people uncomfortable because it's bringing attention the fact that everyone is candy-crazed and all about the Easter Bunny? That Christmas isn't the only religious holiday that is being commercialized? No loin cloth? Jesus was a man, that means he had a penis. And I am more likely to believe that he would have been crucified nude-- wouldn't that have been more of an embarrassment? And why aren't people freaking out about the Chocolate Crosses that Target is selling?! Isn't that just as offensive? It's just a symbol. I would understand if people were upset if the sculpture was made out of shit, or dead bugs, or bombs. I want to know how many people purchased those chocolate crosses for their children's easter baskets. And the fact that it's displayed during holy week is perfect. I mean, if this had been released at any other time it wouldn't have made the impact or had the same significance. Who cares about a Chocolate Jesus on the 4th of July? Would people be offended by a chocolate American flag?? I think not, they would gladly cut up that flag into cubes and eat it. Never mind that fact that destroying the flag, any form of it, is considered desecration of it. This also makes me wonder, since I was raised Catholic, and suppose I still am, why I am completely ok with all of this. Bottom line, it's a symbol, Jesus had a penis, and it's addressing the Easter craze. ALSO, these christian holidays were first Pagan. Think about that for a while. I'm going to make a chocolate bible now. |
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| Maybe he means well but he sure makes me feel like shit. |
[Mar. 8th, 2007|12:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | annoyed | ] |
So, I've been applying for office jobs because I've decided that I didn't choose Printmaking to print other people's work. I chose to major in printmaking because that was how I wanted to make my own work. Now, I wouldn't mind working in a fine arts print shop temporarily because a printer's skills can always iprove, and working in a fine arts print shop would probably help me out a lot. But, I don't know of any fine arts print shops in Atlanta, and I am kind of tied down here until my dental work is complete, which would be at least two years, possibly more. So, I need a job to support my art, and pay the bills.
I've been looking at the High Museum of Art and Universities, and other businesses, but I am having no luck. I have basically a week until I am done with school. So, I applied to Starbucks as a temporary solution. This guy in my class saw that I was filling out an application and was like "APPLICATION for Employment! Oh boy! Where at?" He freaked out on me when I said Starbucks. "You have a bachelors degree! You can do better than Starbucks!" Well, why doesn't anyone want me then? I think they see that I went to an art school and think i can't do the office work. What am I supposed to do? I guess I shouldn't worry about him-- I don't need his approval. But this is exactly what I was worried about as far as working a shitty hourly job. I am glad I have some support, but I am ashamed to tell my teachers and other peers.
Where are people supposed to find jobs? Monster is a joke for artists. |
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| Almost in the real world |
[Mar. 1st, 2007|11:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
So, no matter how much I planned and prepared graduation is hitting me like a tsunami. I no longer know what I want to do. I haven't been able to get a job, and now I have two weeks until I have to start paying bills. I have way too many options for grad school, which reinforces my plan to take some time off from school and figure out what I want to do. I thought the people who lingered around after graduating college had done something wrong, and that was not going to be me. I did everything right-- did well in school, met with career services multiple times this year and last year, and the year before, emailed connections (not as well as I should have), completed an internship, took Professional Practices, and researched jobs... And it looks like I'll be working at Target, but hopefully Starbucks, even though I did all the steps.
I wish I knew what I wanted to be so I could narrow down my job search. Sure, I want to be an artist, but I am not confident enough or ready to try to live solely by selling my work. Education? Art therapy? Museum work? Library sciences? Sometimes I want to be an Imagineer for Disney, too! I'm considering a Masters in graphic design. Every option I have requires very specialized degrees. How am I supposed to figure out what I want to do?! I hate that sometimes I regret art school, but if I hadn't come to art school I would have denied myself of something I love doing. I just want to pay off my debts and live my life. I don't expect to be a millionaire. I am accepting the fact that I will most likely be a renter forever, and that's ok.
And life is still pretty good. I say "I hate my life" a lot, but really I don't mean it. I should really stop saying that. I am happy in my relationship. I have two awesome guinea pigs. I'm moving into an apartment with my Brian and we've been setting everything up. I am really happy with the art I've been producing.
People tell me I am very driven and that's what it takes to get what you want. It's reassuring to know people see my hard work, but I still feel like it's getting me nowhere. Maybe I should email Lynn about visiting Cartoon Network next week. What the hell? I majored in Printmaking! They want graphic designers, illustrators, and cartoonists! I can't come up with my own characters to save my life!
And yet, I still believe that things have a way of working out. I'm going to check on that Emory job.. And finish my laundry. ::sigh:: |
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| Superiority complex |
[Feb. 25th, 2007|12:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
I'm starting to really dislike my mac. It's so frustrating! All the time. And so expensive. You can't do shit unless you purchase the overpriced programs. It's also slow, which is ridiculous since I have practically nothing on it. I am trying to remember why I thought it would be a good idea to let my dad have the Toshiba (I could play Sims and had the stupid card games, and had Microsoft Word) and I get a mac (which came with nothing I could really use). I'm very disappointed-- I'm stuck with this thing until it dies. And if I tell my dad I am unhappy he'll think I'm an ungrateful little bitch. And he's paying for my implants. Fuckity fuck. I should stop whining. The apple did get me through last quarter with imovie... ::sigh:: You have to be rich to be happy with a mac, I think. |
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| Card Company Holiday? |
[Feb. 14th, 2007|10:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Harry and the Potters | ] |
I know that really Valentine's day is just a holiday to get people to spend more money on the card companies, just so you make sure your loved ones don't feel left out... But, I really like Valentine's day. Maybe it's the decor? I love all the pink, red, and heart decorations. Is it so bad to want to have a beautiful day?
I've had a great morning-- a lovely breakfast in bed with lots of red and berries, sparkling orange juice and homemade hot chocolate, and I am just loving all the little surprises. Like the heart chaped Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in my purse, and the yellow crab animal. I even liked Valentine's day when I was single. (Sure, I admit it is a lot better when you're in love...)
Look! Even livejournal is festive! I just love it. The only way Valentine's Day could get any better is if it were in the spring. I hope everyone else can enjoy today.
P.s. I am having surgery on Saturday. Eep! |
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| pounding pounding pounding |
[Dec. 31st, 2006|09:32 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | restless | ] |
This sucks. Really bad. And I am currently just a jumble of emotions and wondering why I am so fucking stupid? It's New Years. I should be with my boyfriend counting down the minutes until New Years. Instead, I am here, while he's already drunk with his friends in Savannah. Don't bother to let me know that you decided to go to Savannah or that you made it safely or anything. I feel like a loser. I shouldn't have called. I'm going to go to bed because I have to work tomorrow, and I hate my life right now. I just felt like a huge bother. I was caught off-guard and immediately wished I hadn't called. Can I rewind? What's wrong with me? |
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| There are lots of solutions. |
[Dec. 6th, 2006|03:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
I just got back from SCAD. Rich is a really nice guy and I think I am going to like him more now that I don't have a class with him. I think a lot of pressure has been lifted now that students are not in the studio. I feel better about life now. Somehow I am going to fit friendships, my relationship, and my art all into the same life as adult responsibilities because those three things are very important to me. Maybe it means less sleep? Or being more of a penny pincher than I am now, but you have to find ways to include what you love into life. That's it.
So, what I am thinking is, after graduation maybe I'll work at Starbucks. It sucks working for "The Man" but sometimes it is necessary. How else am I going to pay back $30,000 of student loans, and $15,000 of dental work? How it is playing out in my head is: I'll work at Starbucks, because making coffee seems much more bearable than being a cashier at Target. I'll get Sundays and Mondays off. Sunday I will take care of errands and have lazy times with my Brian. Monday I will volunteer at the Art Therapy place in the morning, and in the afternoon I will make my way up to SCAD to work on my art. My thinking is that Starbucks needs early morning people, and very few people like to work early mornings.. This would be great for me cause I like getting up at 7 and getting on my way. That means I would get off work earlier and have more time to devote to my art and maybe a few other activities.
It's not set in stone, and maybe some other job will surface that will be even better for me. I say Starbucks because I know they provide health insurance ot their employees, and at the moment I am in desperate need of health insurance after I complete classes. Ideally I would love to catch a real job, but sometimes that doesn't come straight away.
I'm feeling better. It helps when I figure out ways to work things out. I still don't understand why, but does it really matter?
I'm leaving Friday. That's two nights away. I wish I had decided to stay... I could have gotten a seasonal holiday job and worked in the print shop, on my art, of course. And then I could spend Christmas an New Year's with Brian. What was I thinking. Sometimes I am a stupid girl. I trigger my own suffering.
Ok, no more checking email. It is only leading to that little feeling of disappointment. Things were so much simpler two years ago. Snails and cyber-snails were so much easier to fit in. It's nice being in the same city. I guess we've traded one for another, and the newer is just as important as the former, maybe even a little more important. I need to become an adult, too, now. (it made me really happy when he spoke of putting my art table in X corner! Now I need to find an art table.) |
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| I hate the situation. |
[Nov. 28th, 2006|11:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  scared | ] |
Things are getting a lot more complicated in my mouth. It's no longer a matter of straightening my teeth to make room for the implants, and then the implants. Now it looks like I'll also be adding bone grafting to the list. I was really worried about the amount of bone loss in my jaw because in the x-rays it's a black hole where I lost all those teeth. I am terrified that it's going to just collapse.
What the orthodontist wants to do is have one implant done, then use that implant to push my teeth forward and straighten them, and the gap made between the implant and my other teeth would be where the second implant would go. There's a small chance the implants specialist won't see bone grafting as necessary, but I think I am just being overly hopeful. I don't like the idea of having bone taken from other areas of my body. Or having such massive procedures done just to fix my jaw problem I feel like it could open the doors for a lot more problems. I've been researching bone grafting and they typically take the bone from your hip or shin. That means a lot of recovery time is going to be necessary, and I would probably have to be out of work for a while. I'm not even graduated yet! How am I supposed to get everything fixed? How am I supposed to get a job when I know I have all this shit to get taken care of? How am I going to pay for all this crap if I am out of work? Who is going to hire me knowing that I will most likely have an orthodontist appointment and periodontist appointment each month? And then need time to recover from the bone grafting procedure where they take the bone out, then the procedure to put it back in, and then the insertion of the implant posts, and then putting on the actual implants? Nobody. It will be my first job. You don't get that kind of time off.. You get what? Like a week of vacation and week of sick days? if you're lucky. There's not even a guarantee that I will even have a real job and could have to be a cashier. And then how do I pay my regular bills on top of all of this?
I feel really terrible saying this because it's almost like fessing up to regrets, and I don't want to regret this, but if I had known I'd have all these teeth problems I wouldn't have gone to art school. I hate hate hate thinking this though, because I have always wanted to be an artist and the university program wasn't getting me to where I wanted to be artistically, but now I have a lot of college loans to pay back.
On the positive side, the orthodontist said I have really good facial genetics because people who study people's faces and beauty have determined that a horizontal orientation is more desirable than a vertical, and I have a horizontal. He said as we age our noses continue to grow, and our chins become more prominent, and if you have a vertical face it starts to look disproportionate and longer, but with the horizontal the aging process is more graceful. So, I guess I have that going for me?
He also said that anybody telling me I have to do something right away is wrong. That I am young and there are some temporary alternatives, I just should let it go for too long. He said I could get some type of retainer to keep my bottom teeth in place. It would have something to keep my top teeth over the void of teeth from coming down any further.
How am I going to do Peace Corps and get my masters degree with all this? I feel like I can't have children now. I hate how this has happened. And how it's taking my life away from me. I don't think I'll even be able to afford to get married. How am I going to be able to make my artwork? Forget a printing press and hollander beater. I hate money. I hate health insurance, and the high prices doctors charge. And how school is expensive. Everyone just wants your money.
Sure is amazing what they can do with modern dentistry technology... They recommended turbo bites! Which bring teeth back into the gum a little. Cool. |
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| Don't worry, I won't really leave this out for her, but it is all true and really bothering me. |
[Nov. 21st, 2006|12:07 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
Dear Room mate,
I think you are a very nice person, but you are absolutely disgusting. Why leave empty boxes and cans on the counter? And I don't like how you leave remnants of food from your cooking adventures-- how adventurous is spaghetti and canned chili without the beans? I'm scared to touch the counters. How could you stand that nasty brown ring in our toilet? Did you even notice that I cleaned it? And the sink? There's already black stuff in it! And why did you break my cute purple hippo soap in half? You know, I was tired of having to go to the shower to grab my bar of soap out so I could wash my hands after using the bathroom, because you took my previous bar that was designated for after-potty-hand-washing into the shower to use as your body soap. Why not purchase your own soap? That hippo bar of soap wasn't even out next to the sink for a day. :-( You never take out the garbage... you use a whole lotta toilet paper... so much so that I have started hiding a roll in my bathroom drawer so I can monitor my tp consumption, and monies I spend on tp. It's been at least a month and I am on the same roll. I watched you wash dishes once... You used no soap! Just hot water... I sure hope that you are using my dish soap and scrubbie while I am gone, because I have a feeling you use my dish towels to dry your dishes with. I pulled the hair out of the drain in the shower-- the shower that I use once a week and sometimes less. Do you know what was dangling from the end of one of your shower drain hairs? Your menstrual cycle red junk!!! GRAH! GROSS GROSS GROSS! Then I had to clean the shower to get rid of that residue. It also drives me crazy that you leave your hair dryer on my side of the bathroom counter all the damn time, and your hair brush- that you never clean out. You have your own side- use it more frequently. I let you have more shelves in the medicine cabinet-- put your damn brush in there. Could you please remember to flush the toilet? I hate coming in and finding turds that are starting to decompose, and/or yellow water with toilet paper disintegrating.
If you would please take all this into consideration and try to be a little less nasty I would greatly appreciate it. I know I am no neat-freak myself, but all I want are the basics.
Your petty and crazy roommate,
Christina |
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| I hope I am not smelly... |
[Nov. 15th, 2006|01:18 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | tic-toc hippo clock | ] |
Things just haven't been the same since I sprained you, Wrist. Drawing for practically twelve hours today probably didn't do you a bit of good... I know I know, it's bad enough with this cold weather. Just last a little bit longer though. You can be lazy after next Tuesday. One week. Just convince the brain not to freak out. I wrap you tonight, if that will make you feel better. I"ll even type one handed. Like I am rihgt now. Don't quit on me noe... now! |
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| "If it's not too late for coffee" |
[Nov. 2nd, 2006|08:54 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
I don't know why it makes me sad... I really know I have nothing to worry about. Right? I think the situation would be the same if it was reversed in fact. We all need friends in addition to our significant others, and I am ok with that. I don't know what my problem is. And of course I wasn't going to be all happy and enthusiastic about it. It's just coffee. Everyone gets coffee. I'm not going to be that crazy psycho girlfriend. But at the same time I don't want to get walked all over. What's the happy medium?
I am worried about leaving for Christmas.
She reads a lot, and probably doesn't have fucked up teeth. I just make art and play with guinea pigs.
At least I am enjoying school now. It still goes by too fast-- My last final critique is on November 21. Crazy.
P.s. I have to get braces and implants. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2006|11:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | frustrated | ] |
And why do my teachers scowl when I say I want to get a masters in Art Therapy instead of Printmaking? And then I feel like a disappointment. I want to make art... I just don't know how I am going to support myself, and my art-making without a job. And if I am doing printmaking as my job then I won't want to make it on my own. But I guess that can be said of anybody working. What is the point of living if all you do is work and have no time to enjoy the things you like to do and the people you love being around? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2006|10:36 pm] |
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Soooo... I have never ever ever hated school before. I don't know if it's because I only have this quarter and next quarter until I am finished, and therefore getting a bit antsy and senioritis.... Or if it's SCAD. I am leaning more toward it being SCAD and their god-awful quarter system. How can an art school do well on the quarter system is beyond me. I thought it was rough at ACA taking 4 printmaking classes and one academic. Man, I was way wrong. I can't keep up with my work! I hate this! All I want to do is printmaking, but I don't have time to do anything well. Fuck fuck fuck. I should have hopped on tht law-suit wagon and gone to another school. But I wouldn't have cause I had what? Five freakin classes left. Who transfers to another school when they only have five classes until they have their degree. An idiot. I love my teachers, just they all expect too much work in a short span of time. |
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| P.s. Happy as a clam. |
[Sep. 14th, 2006|06:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | ACA House | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Julianna Newsom | ] |
Have I mentioned how great it to actually be in the same city as my boyfriend? Cause, it's pretty damn awesome! And I can walk there-- even better. ::le sigh::
Work Schedule:
Sunday: 9 pm- 12 am
Monday: 6 pm- 9 Pm
Tuesday: 9 pm- 12 am
Wednesday: 6 pm- 9 pm
Thursday: Off
Friday: Off
Saturday: 1 pm- 6 pm
Guess where I am off to? |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 14th, 2006|08:38 am] |
Yesterday was the first day of classes. I only had one, but it was a six hour one. I was excited about it, and I still am. The instructor is a practicing artist, and part of SCAD's "distinguished faculty" program-- each quarter they have an artist teach a class. You have to have a really high gpa in order to be considered for this program and have to be a graduate student, senior or junior, however they also permit sophmores on occassion. The artist teaching my class is Nene Humphrey, and she's pretty awesome, however she's giving us boundaries I am not used to. She wants us to keep a separate journal for her class, and I asked her about this and it conflicting with my creative process and limiting my ideas. She understands that but still wants us to keep a separate journal, even if it means photocopying pages from our main sketchbook/ journal to hers.
I'm really trying to be open-minded and I am going to try to do things her way. I also don't like that she's assuming that the people in class without digital cameras can use the other people's personal digital cameras. Maybe I am being selfish, or maybe I am just being overprotective of my things. I've had bad experiences loaning things to people, even my friends.
Today I have printmaking and Drawing III. The print lab is amazing. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 24th, 2006|05:21 pm] |
http://encarta.msn.com/encnet/departments/adultlearning/?article=parentslament>1=8432
Goodness, this article really speaks to me. It's amazing. I want to pass it onto my dad, but I know he would not see things the same as me. My mom doesn't believe that I want to join Peace Corp. to help people. She thinks I want to do it only for the money they pay on your loans; she says that if I really wanted to help people I would have volunteered at a soup kitchen or the church a lot more often. She doesn't understand me. It's hard enough finding time to get everything done being a full-time student. Peace Corp would happen after I graduate, therefore it would be my job, and I wouldn't have other crap to worry about. It's no use arguing though.
The loan payments are nice, but really I want the overseas experience. I want to help people.
I can't wait to get back up to Atlanta. Somehow everything is going to work out... Even these soon-to-be braces. I met a girl who graduated from ACA in 2005-- now I am even more certain that I'll be ok. No way did she go to career services. |
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